Eggs on a Wall

Some guy wrote 'Eggs' on a garage door, and another garage door that we don't care about, but we do care about this door. If anyone knows about this door or why I care about it, then please don't tell me it's mine because I don't want to know.

Deadly highway incident

On Highway 15,019,007 a deadly unaccidental incident occured only a few minutes ago (aka a half an hour) and has once again made the citizens of Robotside worried for the poor defenseless and unimportant lives.

A driver was moving at the normal speed of about 110-120 MPH when the rear bumper of the semi truck in front of him came off and shredded the front tires of the driver's car. As the car swereved out of control straight into the other lane, a Space Shuttle crashed on the highway and killed at least 50 robots.

But then, about 100 more drivers could not stop and crashed straight into the shuttle, including the backup drummer for Vitamin Z, Shutyah Uglifayce. One survivor believed that "He hadn't never seen a space shuttle berrfore".

Was it those guys that were hating us again? Or was it a new guy that was hating us? Or was it the loss of support, funds, and good pilots for our space team? We will never give a care.

Hit and run conflict

In the parking lot of a Pub Licks, a robot accidently ran over a shopper, then backed up, ran him over again, backed up once more, ran over him again, and then his car's engine blew. As the driver tried to leave, the car exploded, destroying both robots.

It seems that the robot's interior parts got stuck in the engine, causing it to explode. It also seems that the driver ran over the shopper because he had a screwdriver, which is illegal to have everywhere but Robotside. The driver was simply scared that the screwdriver might just be illegal, and he did not want the robot to go to jail.

This belief is obviously not confirmed, since the guy driving the car is dead. There is also no confirmation that the shopper was carrying a screwdriver, since the things he bought were completely destroyed. Police are NOT looking for more information.

Some guy sells a cantaloupe

Today some guy sold a cantaloupe.

Idiot gets stuck in wall

While building a house, some guy stuck his head through an unfinished, unstable window. Obviously, something stupid would happen to this stupid person. As the top of the window crushed his neck he exploded his head in desperation, or something senseless like that.

"I tried to stop him," Said the destroyed robot's voicebox. "But he was obviously too interested in being in harm's way." The robot was NOT escorted to the hospital and was NOT given any medical attention. Actually, he didn't get any attention until now.

The top of the window has been handcuffed and it's fate will be decided on Saturday by a blender and a rubber band ball.

Police Station Break-In

A few hours ago, a few evil people broke into the police station. As the policemen were busy gaining 13 and 1/2 pounds, the evil people stole the keys to all the police cars PLUS a trashcan. The policemen were very surprised about what had happened. "I'm still hungry." Said Officer Fatty McFatfat.

McFatfat believes that there were napkins, moldy donut remains, and donut boxes in the wastebasket. If you see anyone with these things, please call the authorities. There is no knowledge to if the evil people have stolen the police cars yet. Authorities say "Get outta here."

Looks like Robotside needs new policemen. They'll take any old loser for a dozen of donuts an hour.

NUCLEAR MARSHMALLOW BOMBING

It seems that somebody hates us. Somewhere. Some freak dropped a nuclear marshmallow on a house in Robotside! It tastes awful and we don't get a refund! It also landed on a nearby defenseless tree! Nobody knows who lived in the house or why someone would be in one of those things.

"Ah trad tah tahst it cahs it luhked sah guhd!" said a nearby resident after he burned off his tounge from the nuclear waste. He was really looking forward to not getting his tounge burned off, but unfortunately the nuclear waste had other plans.

As some residents came to see what the heck was going on, some idiots decided to ride their bikes straight into marshmallow, and then they got stuck. As people came to help them they decided to go to the carnival instead.

Be on the lookout for any strange things falling out of the sky this weekend. And I might decide to come to your house and throw eggs at you.

Pie-filled body found in well

As some dope walked up to a well earlier this morning to donate a nickel to whoever the heck thought having a well was a good idea, the dope tripped on his other foot and smashed his face into the well, stumbling into it. A guy watching this funny incident yelled "I hope you find a dead body filled with cupcakes down there!", but unfortunately the body was filled with pie of the cherry sort.

The dope who fell in screamed for help as some helpful citizens rescued the pie-filled dead body from the well. As the dope screamed his gratitute of "HELP ME YOU RETARDS!" the authorities came and had some delicious pie!

We must remind you AGAIN today not to fill any dead bodies you see lying around with pie. Instead they should be cleaned, disposed of, and you shouldn't tell us about it cuz we'd rather be payed for nothing. But, as the authorities said... "This is some pretty dang good pie!!!"

Police catches the "Crap-On-Doorstep" bandit!

Every so often the residents of Robotside have been recieving crap all over their doorstep. Like, everywhere. Some of us are getting pretty PO'd, so we decided to actually do something about it!

The Police put up signs showing where to go to get to the police department. At the bottom the wrote: "WE HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE CRAP ON OUR DOORSTEP!!!" The bandit realized this was the perfect place to leave crap on a doorstep.

Early this morning the C-O-D bandit was found attempting to leave crap on the PD's doorstep. He was put in handcuffs and will be exploded tomorrow afternoon.

Weather update

Somebody threw an ice cream in my facial area. Be aware of this. Our satelitte thingy says that it's gonna be partially cloudy with a chance of DOOM!!! this afternoon and this evening expect me to dress up as the grim reaper and make it snow. Yeah there's like a 4% chance of that.

The """"scoop"""" on Derrik's Donuts

You love Derrik's Donuts. I mean, you cannot get donuts anywhere else! And they're so stupid, you have to buy another half of one! You know what I'm talking about. Well, our spy reporter has just gotten word that these donuts are...

DELICIOUS!!!

As the police rushes to the scene of Derrik's Donuts, they plan on buying a few more dozens to make sure that they gain about 13 and 1/2 more pounds. Let's hope that they get the job done.

SUP FOOs!!!

After alots of years us people (Robert and Mikey) decides to makin ourselves sum news!!! So let's send a hamburger to all those people who don't live here! (INSERT: BOOOOO!!!) Now let's get down to the weather!!!

Or not. It's probably gonna be good enough for us not to care. I just hope everyone doesn't die from that hurricane that's about to pass through.

Just so you know who we are...

Mikey's the one on the left getting a concussion and Robert's the one giving Mikey the concussion... WITH OUR NEWSPAPER!!! (Which is cool)

So you'll want to check up on us for up-to-whenever information!!!