Pie-filled body found in well

As some dope walked up to a well earlier this morning to donate a nickel to whoever the heck thought having a well was a good idea, the dope tripped on his other foot and smashed his face into the well, stumbling into it. A guy watching this funny incident yelled "I hope you find a dead body filled with cupcakes down there!", but unfortunately the body was filled with pie of the cherry sort.

The dope who fell in screamed for help as some helpful citizens rescued the pie-filled dead body from the well. As the dope screamed his gratitute of "HELP ME YOU RETARDS!" the authorities came and had some delicious pie!

We must remind you AGAIN today not to fill any dead bodies you see lying around with pie. Instead they should be cleaned, disposed of, and you shouldn't tell us about it cuz we'd rather be payed for nothing. But, as the authorities said... "This is some pretty dang good pie!!!"