Fatman burglary attempt

It seems that with all of the holiday craziness going on that people are going crazy about... Well, yeah, they're going crazy. Everybody is having the urge to dress up in a santaman suit and break into people's houses.

One fat guy dressed up as Santaman and tried to go down a chimney to steal stuff from a house. He got on the roof and waited two hours to go down at exactly midnight. He went down the wrong way and there was a fire in the fireplace, and he died of inhaling to much fire all over his body.

Another attempt was made when a fatman tried to put a horse on a roof so the roof would fall in. The santamansuit was just a small part of the plan. Unfortunately, the roof collapsed as the fatman had hoped, but it landed on the fatman who had gotten bored of waiting for the roof to collapse and went inside to get a drink.

Last night a fatman dressed up as a santaman and successfully went down the chimney. Unfortunately, it wasn't the right day to do this, so he decided to leave and turn himself in.

Sandwich shop burned down

Everyone's favorite place to get a crappy sandwich no longer exists. The Happy Sandwiches building, owned and mainted by a very happy robot, has much to be unhappy about, although he is still smiling. The sandwich shop was burned down when the oven decided to play with some matches.

Some residents who liked to eat there were very dissapointed, but they fortunately have been paid to eat at Mikey's Mutated Meat for the rest of their lives. Some declined the offer and offered to help the very happy robot rebuild. The happy robot happily said "No way in heck."

Some robots did not like to speak of what had happened today. Some like waffles. A Sumo Wrestler (Who happens to be a friend of mine) who stocked up on his "gut-fillers" here, had a few words to say about the resturaunt. "This place did have great sandwiches. I'm not saying that I burned it down, but I'm really hungry."

Chicken Theif Still at Large

As reported earlier, some evil people have been stealing chickens away from their houses. They steal nothing else from the chicken's house in order to make it seem that they did not steal the chicken, however, they did indeed steal the chicken. It's just true.

Just under an hour ago, a car ran completely over a chicken's house, which was located about 100 feet from the road the driver should have been driving on. Authorities say that this was likely done on purpose, however, the people driving the car said "We were coming... home with these chickens, and... Uh... We kinda... Well, we, uh... You see it? Yes. Yeah. That's what we did."

Please keep your chickens locked up in a box too small for a chicken, because the chicken theives have not yet been spotted and are still at large. A local robot said he saw a car driving away with his chicken and believes it was a black car, which narrows it down a whole lot. We still don't know.

Police fire on Holiday Shoppers

Wallpaper-Mart is having it's 757th annual great deal-o-thon. This means great deals. Many shoppers have found great deals on things such as fuzzy slippers, Suspiciously Convenient microwaveable items, small jugs of root beer juice, Derrik's Non-Delivered Donuts, Oversized wrenches and lemon scented flu particles. Policemen want donuts.

These things do sell out quickly. (I lucked out on an oversized screwdriver) As the police went on an important call to the Paper-Mart, they had this in mind. Somebody, they would soon realize, had taken the last box of donuts.

The police suddenly oppened fire on any robot that happened to be taking advantage of these ridiculous prices, without reason. Very soon after, however, the policemen brought themselves to justice and brought themselves to the Robotside jail. Few casualties were found, many were injured.

Don't forget about Wallpaper-Mart's useless junk! ON SALE NOW!

Neighborhood Chicken Theif

It seems that some people in this town cannot stop themselves from the fun of doing cruel things to chickens. Now, instead of stealing the chicken's prized possessions, people seem to enjoy stealing the chickens themselves. It's freaking hillarious!

The townspeople on the "coutryside" of Robotside are going crazy and we couldn't find a quote good enough or legal enough to put on this site. The Robotsideans of the countryside (Whatever that's supposed to mean) cannot put up with the chicken stealing. We can. We're civilized. We get a picture of where a chicken once stood.

The "Good TIMES" are back!

Your best newspaper's company has recovered from a freak tennis-style lawnmower incident, and it's back! You will see more good times (But mostly bad times) of your favorite city of Robotside very soon! Thanks for your reading of this! (All none of you)