Incredibly wild wildfire is wild! Wild! Wildfire.

Semi Truck driver Reeninatsreddalf fell asleep at the wheel while driving on the highway at, like, some time you would normally fall asleep at the wheel. Yeah, he admitted doing it. We took his brain out and wired it up to our computers and, to make a long story short, we wrote a story about a wildfire.

But if that was just the story to begin the story that we're about to tell you. Notice how there weren't any wildfires in that story? Had we continued to make that story a "short story long", or whatever you want to say, we decided it was more important to look into this story of the story to begin the story that we're about to tell you. If we didn't tell this story, that would just story story story.

Reeninatsreddalf (I'm gonna call him dalfin for now cuz it's funnie!) drove his truck into the woods, and he was asleep, as we said in the first story. If he wasn't asleep, there wouldn't be a problem, nor would there be a first story, or even a second story for that matter.

The truck hit multiple trees and created multiple problems. In fact, researchers said that the truck saved a young robot stuck in a tree by knocking the tree down, but then, in a dramatic, insane twist, ran over the robot as many times as five bucks. The researchers also made up some other stories that are too gruesome to tell on our incredibly awesome newspaperstory.

The truck exploded soon enough and sent wild and crazy fires into every direction you could possible imagine, including #~%. The police threw a dance party-I mean, search party-I mean, birthday party for everyone's birthday. I mean dance party. The police threw a dance party. At your mom.

Organization Against Airplanes invades Robotside

Have you ever been seasick?

Anyway, the OAA decided to enter Robotside after being thrown out of nearly every other square foot of land on the planet, and caused a major uproar. UPROAR!

Obviously, planes have affected the lives of the Robotside citizens, and plus they're super awesome. So when people enter our super awesome city and try to remove our super awesome stuff, we take out our shotguns and do not use violence. Unless you consider using your shotgun to blow the heads off a bunch of stupid anti-airplane freaks violent. Then we use violence.

Which we successfully did, and it successfully worked. Since they had nowhere else to go, it was a win-win situation. Well, we still have airplanes, so they didn't win, but this world is still as super awesome as it should be.

The Robotside Times News Updating Update

Instead of giving you your big news stories on the Friday through the Sunday, we're gonna go back to just giving you the stories whenever we feel like it. So now, you'll be waiting for a news, and it could happen in a month or maybe tomorrow. Who knows. As long as it's not on a regular basis.

-Mikey

Robotside Mall Holds "Pain and Suffering" Contest

Want to win a car? Go buy a car! Want to win a million dollars? Go buy a million dollars! Want to win a torn up pair of jeans? Hold on, don't get too excitited. The contest is over. Oh, and the prize was a pure-gold coated grape.

In this contest, emo kids from around town (And some from that there other town) joined in to show how much they could hurt themselves, and also tell their fake stories about why their lives are so terrible. It's actually quite entertaining, considering the fact that emo kids really do think everything about their lives is terrible.

But one life was terrible no more. That robot culd no longer say he was emo, because he managed to convince the judges his life was terrible and inflict incredible pain unto himself. Ray Serblaide went home with the incredible golden (coated) grape.

"It's just so worthless," said Ray. "This thing is, like, a ****** grape, lightly coated with gold. Why the **** would somebody want this? At least I realize my life isn't terrible anymore."

He also said "Stop ****** interviewing me, ******! Get the ****** **** away from me! ****!"

Pub Licks Loses Doughnut Supply, Police Don't Work

Perhaps you're tired of hearing Police-Doughnut stories in our beloved Robotside times. Want to hear about something else? Well too bad! Those other newspapers ain't gonna take your crap like we do, you stupid, spoiled newsreader! Now sit down and straighten that tie you're not wearing!

Anyway, Pub Licks hasn't been shipped a new doughnut supply in a month and the policemen have decided to not eat the moldy ones that PL has left. So I did. I think I have ADD now, but it's not polite to make jokes about people with ADD. It is being shipped throughout the world in the shape of doughnuts, you know.

This reporter answers, why?