You heard it here first! (Because we're the only people that report this stuff)
A local candy store called "Butt" had a contest last week where if you guessed how many jelly beans were in their jar (And all that nonsense) you would win a dollar times one hundred. Pretty sneaky, huh?
All the kids went to the story to guess the jelly beans. They wanted to win that prize so badly. Happy Johnny won the contest, and when he got his prize, it turned out to be $100. That's right! Those evil people!
Happy Johnny sued Butt for the 100 dollars he deserved. All is now well. I think.
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