Tales From The Cardboard Box*: How Hobos Survive in Robotside

Yeah, news has been pretty slow lately, so we sped it up with more gibberish you could care less about by telling you some incredibly uneducational, unentertaining and unmiddle-class stories about the survival of hobos in the incredibly almost-hobo-free city of Robotside. Why you ask? Please restate the question and shut up.

Please take note that the following stories are really hard to read, we had to do much translating in the hobo-to-normal dictionary, and it didn't go so well.

The first story comes from another one of those people with some first name like Bob and the last name of Smith, or Johnson, or something of the sort. He told us his real name but it sucked.

"Well, yup, yeah, I, yeah, you know, just, yeah, yup, then he, just, you know, yup."

I called him a liar and cast him out of the hobo society with a gold-plated iron fist.

The next guy called himself "Degeglluh" and tried to kill many of the members of the Times' crew, but we still managed to get quite an interview out of him.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" was one of his most memorable quotes. If you told me to lie, I'd say it brought tears to my eyes. Hey, that would be a good line for an emo song. I think. Wait, they cry alot. I don't know.

The third suffered us murdering him with a strangling heart attack electrocution steak knife. But we still got a pretty nice interview, and I'd say it was definately one of the most amazing interview I'd ever had to do during my whole "career" with the Robotside Times Crew.

He said "I'm not gonna get a job."

*We actually asked the hobos about the stories, not their boxes.