Pub Licks' Septemberth Annual Septembermonth Extravaganza Event has finally gone to a funeral, died, visited Egypt, and jumped the shark all in a matter of 2 and a half days. So why has everyone's favorite good time event gone bankrupt?
"I'M NOT PAID SOMEONE PAY ME!" Said Septembermonth, all in one sentence (Just like I raised him!). "I HAVE BILLS I MUST PAY I CAN'T PAY THEM BY MYSELF HOW DO I PAY THEM IF I DON'T GET PAYED HELP ME!"
This awful sight was brought to you by Pub Licks, but it is now brought to you by the Department of the Police Department.
"I couldn't really tell what was going on there," said Officer. "People were running around the store screaming, just ask Lieutenant, he was there too, but I think he got trampled."
We took his advice and asked the mangled robot if he knew what was going on with the Septembermonth Extravaganza. We had to smack some dirt out of his mouth for his words to actually be understandable, and we had much trouble doing so, but it's all just part of the job. He screamed "HELP ME!" But since we've heard that many times in this great newspaper, we decided not to do anything about it.
It was obvious that Septembermonth simply could no longer afford being awesome, and had to move on to smaller and worse things. Pub Licks will forever be remembered for not paying this incredible event enough cash for it to survive, and we will forever continue to shun it, for the rest of our worthless lives, until we need some more bread, which is right now.
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