As reported earlier, some evil people have been stealing chickens away from their houses. They steal nothing else from the chicken's house in order to make it seem that they did not steal the chicken, however, they did indeed steal the chicken. It's just true.
Just under an hour ago, a car ran completely over a chicken's house, which was located about 100 feet from the road the driver should have been driving on. Authorities say that this was likely done on purpose, however, the people driving the car said "We were coming... home with these chickens, and... Uh... We kinda... Well, we, uh... You see it? Yes. Yeah. That's what we did."
Please keep your chickens locked up in a box too small for a chicken, because the chicken theives have not yet been spotted and are still at large. A local robot said he saw a car driving away with his chicken and believes it was a black car, which narrows it down a whole lot. We still don't know.
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